What do you do with a kid at a funeral?  Do they come to the visitation?  Do they stay for the lunch?  What about going to the cemetery?  

No matter what a family chooses to do, the day of the funeral can quickly turn into a long, long day for kids, and a trying day for parents and caregivers. Caring for young children while carrying your own grief is an incredibly difficult season to step into. As churches, as a congregation member, as a church staff and leaders . . . we can help! Gather these few items into a bag to help the youngest among us in a time of big feelings. 

Drink water and eat a snack. Include a small bottle of water and fruit snacks.  (Fruit snacks are a great allergy-friendly option for most kids.)   

Take a deep breath. Offer some bubbles!  Blowing bubbles requires a deep breath and focused air that helps regulate a body.  

Have a big or little cry. Travel-size tissue packs are just the right size for kids that need a little (or big) cry.   

Write or draw, Move your hands. A small notebook, pen, and fidget toy help keep hands and minds busy. Choose a quiet fidget toy that can be used during the funeral service without disturbing others.   

Move your whole body. My home church is lucky enough to have an outdoor playground, but it is tucked behind the back of the church.  If visitors come through the front door, they may not see the playground or know that this is open for all kids to play and enjoy! If it fits for your congregation, include a picture of your playground–or even a map!–so visiting children and families know this is an option for them.   

Hold onto something special to help you remember. We purchased small angel ornaments at a very reasonable price.  We wrapped them in tissue paper so it feels like the kids are unwrapping a gift just for them in their care kit.  

Understand the funeral service. A Time to Say Goodbye: A Booklet for Kids about Funerals is a resource that helps kids understand what is going on in a funeral service and helps them explore their emotions when a loved one dies. Slipping this bulletin into your care kit can give a child the chance to participate in a service that they otherwise might not engage with at all.

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Feeling inspired? Here are a few more suggestions to help get you started on your Funeral Care Kits.

• Do not assemble these yourself! This is a great project for a group of Sunday School children, teenagers, or any small group, team, or Bible Study group. It’s not hard to assemble these kits, and they can be stored for a long time.  (Just double check the expiration date on your snacks.)  
• Remember to put the kits out for each and every funeral, even if they say no kids are attending.  Find a small, kid-height table and put out a few bags for every funeral
  –just in case.   

• Consider purchasing several copies of The Memory Box: A Book about Grief.  Pack your items in a plain craft box. How beautiful would it be if the box you give kids as a funeral care kit is repurposed into a Memory Box to honor their loved ones and help process their grief . . . 

Again, it’s not hard to assemble funeral kits, and it’s not too terribly expensive. In the midst of grief and heartbreak, a quick snack or toy for a young child could make a big difference. On these long funeral days, little things can make a lasting impression–for kids, parents, and caregivers.   

Funeral Care Kit Supply List 

• Bags or boxes
• Little Things Can Help card (download here)
• Bottle of water 

• Fruit snacks 
• A Time to Say Goodbye: A Booklet for Kids about Funerals
  

• Bubbles 

• Small tissue packs 

• Small notepad and shuttle pen 

• Fidget toy 
• The Memory Box: A Book About Grief (optional)

• Picture or map to outdoor playground (if applicable) 

• Angel ornaments (or another special gift to hold onto)