As we gear up to another year of programing with the ups, downs, chaos, and creativity, we are excited to be accompanied by Rev. Dr. Jia Starr Brown. Each month, she will provide a moment for you to center yourself in scripture to face what the month ahead will bring for you as a ministry leader in "Growing Roots". This month, Jia writes about the "newness" of the season and the myriad of feelings that accompany it.
Similar to the month of January, September carries the symbolism of new beginnings for many. Also titled as “the new year” in many educational arenas, many organizations (including churches) that provide learning opportunities operate on similar calendar schedules as well. Thus, in similar fashion, ‘tis the season for goal-setting, dream-making, routine-building, and identity-seeking.
Capitalism does its job to showcase the pomp and flashy circumstance of the season - showcasing cool clothes, the latest school trends and gizmos - all of which brainwash viewers (us!) to believe that by purchasing these material things, we too will wear smiles and make new friends. Commercials and billboards tell us that joy is the appropriate - and expected - emotion for this time of year. We should be excited and joyful…shouldn’t we??
Wading through the shallow waters of assumption, we often apply happiness like glitter to conversations and curriculum; or, we project our emotions derived from our personal experiences onto our young people. If we felt a particular way about the season, surely our kiddos feel the same…right?
The reality is that each of us approach this time of year differently. Just like the new year, the prospect of a new chapter can usher forth a variety of emotions. While some approach the Fall start with excitement and readiness, others may be overcome with worry, fear, or even disdain.
Indeed, some may be excited; and, other students may be concerned about returning to learning environments they found to be challenging. Some may be navigating tensions at home, and others maybe wrestling with social anxiety.
As leaders called to accompany our youth and families, we must be careful not to assume that our experience of this new season mirrors that of others, or vice versa. We must make room for the wide spectrum of feelings that may accompany our young people, and be careful not to project our narratives and opinions onto others. These heavy burdens can lead to spirals of internalized shame, doubt, and distance.
By creating opportunities for self-expression, either with activities or conversation, each person is invited to share their feelings openly and without the pressure of showing up in a prescribed way. We can follow their lead and truly show up in ways that they find meaningful.
We can find several examples of this in Scripture when Jesus encountered people in need of healing. In Matthew 20, Jesus encounters two men who are blind. Jesus doesn’t project his definition of wholeness onto them (or us); rather, he begins by asking what the men want from him.
32 And stopping, Jesus called them and said, "What do you want me to do for you?"
33 They said to him, "Lord, let our eyes be opened." 34 And Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed him. (Matthew 20:32-34 ESV)
Similarly, in Mark 10, Jesus asks blind Bartemaeus what he wants before he takes any action.
48b "Son of David, have mercy on me!" 49 And Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." And they called the blind man, saying to him, "Take heart. Get up; he is calling you." 50 And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. And Jesus said to him, "What do you want me to do for you?" And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight." 52 And Jesus said to him, "Go your way; " your faith has "made you well." (Mark 10:48b-52 ESV)
Together in harmony, the blind men’s response and Jesus’ action lead to healing.
Indeed, there is danger in rushing ahead - servant leadership looks like following the lead of those we serve. We are called to accompany others, trusting that they and God know what they need, is the healthiest way to show up for others - alongside them instead of in front. This includes our young people. We must allow them to guide the conversation and the narrative, sharing their feelings as well as what they need.
This can happen by inviting open sharing in the form of open-ended questions - (“what makes you happy/sad/anxious about starting school?”)
Activities that encourage self-expression - (“paint your feelings/make a collage about the Fall start; what colors/cutouts did you use, and why?”) and listening to hear - not to fix or compare - before taking action. Finding Scripture to support students’ feelings is a wonderful way to connect young people to God. All feelings are real and they are valid.
We can help students find comfort in knowing that there is no emotion or experience we encounter that hasn’t already been navigated by Jesus. Truly, if even “Jesus wept”! (John 11:35), we can too!
